Ch7. Independence
Emma, 8 years old Independence goal:
1. Be able to take a bath herself.
2. Be able to comb her hair with simple pig tail
3. Be able to fix her own breakfast at weekend
4. Be able to fix her school homework without me asking.
Aiden, 5 years old Independence goal
1. Be able to wear his own clothes in the morning
Ch8. Assertiveness (opposite of passiveness)
Standing up for own
Once in a fall festival, Emma was in a long line waiting for balloonist to make animal balloons. After long waiting (at least 15mins), when it's almost her turn, a boy suddenly cut in front of her. I spotted from far away and I wondered what Emma was going to react. To my disappointment, she didn't do anything even though I was pretty sure she waited so long and she was hunger for the balloon, but she didn't have courage to stand up for herself to stop the boys.
Later, I used this as an example to teacher her the assertiveness.
No statements about personal wants or needs.
Standing up for other people
Emma went to Brook's birthday party at Sew Fun. The teacher there demonstrated how to use the sewing machine. All the kids clustered up around the teacher and Emma couldn't get close and just watching kid one by one to get their turn to try out the sewing machine and she was forgotten. Another example that she was not assertive to raise the attention so she could have her turn. Then, I still remembered that moment after a year, another girl in her class, Bianca, stood up for her, she raised her voice and said: Emma didn't get her turn yet. And that's the quality I want to develop in my own child.
Be able to say "no" to someone who is trying to take advantage of her.
Feel comfortable stating an opinion different than others.
Emma doesn't answer questions when she is not sure of her answer. She is afraid to be wrong.
Ch9. Interpersonal relationships
A list of skills you can help children learn that will increase their effectiveness with others.
How to start a conversation with someone he doesn't know.
How and when to move a conversation from a surface level to a more meaningful level.
How to compromise.
How to resolve conflict.
How to give and take.
How to build trust.
How to make an emotional bid
Ask her to make some friends in Taekwondo class.
Help invite her play date once a month. April: Meaghan. May: Maguax or Mellissa
Overcome shyness
CH10. Empathy
Ch 14. Empathy: willingness to listen and to understand the other person's perspective.
1. First requires someone to be able to take the other person's perspective. The basis of empathy is a cognitive skill.
2. Being able to understand the other's perspective well enough to allow it to affect your actions, opnions, beliefs, or feelings.
Without the ability to empathize, your child will end up very self-centered, considering issues only from her perspective.
Elementary years are the golden years to teach the child to be empathic.
1. First, pay attention to your environment as you and your child move through the day. It will force him to consider life from another person's point of view.
When taking her to make Sandwich, ask her what's the feeling to be hungry.
When sending the winter coat/books to the children in other elementary school, asked her what will you feel when you are so cold and no winter clothes.
2. A second opportunity for empathy comes with the experiences of friends.
3. A third opportunity for empathy development comes when your child is directly involved in a situation that requires her to be empathic.
Ch 15. Flexibility: wiliness and open to adapt the change.
Ask Emma to sleep in her own bed after 8 years old birthday. It's a big change to her life.
1. First night she sob and begged me to go back to Daddy's bed. Tell her the good things about sleeping alone: won't have to be disturbed by Daddy's TV, light, noises etc)
2. 2nd night she seems ok, she read 10 mins of Harry Potter book then fall asleep.
3. Praise her
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